Well here goes nothing.....

It time for an update and this will possibly be my last for awhile. I am moving to oregon in a matter of days and I tried yesterday to post. I got a lot of feelings out but before it could post I screwed up so I'll try to relay as much of it as I can. My move should make a lot of people happy. I won't be pestering them anymore and some will be sad to see me go. In the past month I've felt as if many have treated me as if I was gone already, you got your wish, I'm leaving and won't be on anymore. I'm still unsure if this will be permanent or if I'll return. I guess that depends on the few friends I still have left online. If you still want to talk to me you can reach me on AOL at spectereprime other than that I'll do what I can to update when possible. I'm sorry if many of you feel that I have been depressed. You would be too if all of a sudden no one talked to you anymore. I won't say it dosen't hurt, but I'm not pointing the finger at anyone so don't get all upset or take full balme. It just very lonely when no one talks to you, it almost seems like no one cares. This dose make me sad in a ways considering all the people who used to talk to me. Who knows, maybe they'll miss me and attempt to talk to me again.

I will be able to talk to a lot of people on AIM messenger (AOL) and I want to get a few things straight. I can recieve messages with no cost, so please feel free to say hello and let me know whats going on. It only costs me 10 cents to send a message, same with text messages. I am going to attempt to call a few people as that only costs 10 cents a minute, if I take a bit to respond its because I'm a slow stinker on text with a cell phone.

About my move, well Its not going to go exactly as I planned. Money's limited and with the weather the way it is I'm afraid to risk taking my cats up with me. Honestly, I don't think I could handle losing either one of them, but I hate to leave them here. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll be taking a few things but not as much as I had thought I could. Most will have to be stored here till I can find a way to move it. With the way things are I don't feel like myself. I feel very out of place and not wanted. When I go I'll be taking warm clothing, my Powerbook and the scrap pc, some things of my moms and a few items that I don't want to lose. Hopefully when I get up there I'll get to feeling better and actually be able to get me a decent job where I can afford to come back and get everything else. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing.

Man this entry is treeible compared to what I wrote the other day, I really wish it had posted right. Not much I can do but try to express it the best I can. Its way too hot here and getting hotter. I was hoping to be gone before the heat hit hard, but in a matter of days I'll be cooler. I do want to let everyone know I will miss them. I miss most of you now, but for whatever reason you feel you can't talk to me I'd like to say don't let that stop you. I'm here to share both good and bad news wioth you, here to listen, to help you vent and even here to give you a hug if you need it. No matter how bad you think my mood or life is its far worse to be alone. I've been here for awhile and I'll be here for my friends. All I can do is hope everyone finds what makes them happy in life and I hope I can be a part of their lives. Be good to yourselves and to others and good things will happen. You are all in my heart and my thoughts.

I do have one last request. If you still care and want me to be a part of your lives, please let me know. If not let me know this too. I don't want to be the downer, or a bother to anyone. If you want me to leave you alone just say so. Of course I will be hurt, but there is never an easy way to say goodbye. If you feel I've done you wrong now is your chance to let me know, get it out and move on. My mood might not always be cheerful, but I have yet to let that stop me from being a friend who will listen. I better go before I start crying, nothing worse than an old stinker who is all weepy and such. Take care of yourselves and if you see me on AIM and I'm mobile say hello and let me know whats new with you.Who knows, you might get a message from me letting you now how things are going.